The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
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