no, he came in my armpit
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Randomize
