Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
only if we run a train.
done.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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