when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
