The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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