she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
