it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
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