Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Randomize
