Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
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