true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
