Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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