who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize
