y did u give ur computer a hand job?
fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
