Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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