i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
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