I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Drunk is not a location!
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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