If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I will die if light touches me.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
