whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Randomize
