I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Also, beer. Big fan.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Randomize
