I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
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