I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Randomize
