i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Randomize
