oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
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