i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
My breasts were aching with rage.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Randomize
