Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
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