You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
