i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
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