I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
You can't just leave with hair like that
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
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