Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
The convent might be a nice break from real life
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Randomize
