This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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