I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
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