giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
it was like eating out sand paper
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Randomize
