Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Randomize
