Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
