so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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