i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Randomize
