I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
