as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
