Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
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