We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
