Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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