He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
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