Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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