Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
