Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
she smelled like a LAN party
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
