feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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