Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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