woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Randomize
