we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
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