Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
worst night to have a conscience
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Why can't burritos get me drunk
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
