Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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